The time of death of a loved one usually fills the hearts of those who knew him with sorrow. The grief of separation from the deceased can be satisfied only by prayer for him. Christians believe that life does not end with death, that the death of the body is not the death of the soul, that the soul is immortal.
The touching rites performed by the Orthodox Church over a dead Christian are not just solemn ceremonies, often invented by human vanity and saying nothing to either the mind or the heart. On the contrary, they have deep meaning and meaning, since they are based on the revelations of the holy faith, which were bequeathed by the Lord Himself, known from the apostles - disciples and followers of Jesus Christ.
Funeral rites not only bring consolation, but serve as symbols in which the thought of the general resurrection and future immortal life. The essence of the Orthodox burial rite lies in the Church’s view of the body is like a temple of the soul consecrated by grace, for present life - as a time of preparation for the future life, and for death - as for a dream, upon awakening from which eternal life will come.
In the period before Last Judgment- because the final fate of the soul has not yet been determined, for her possible prayer to the Lord. And we have been given the power to ask the Lord for what does not contradict His will: “Whatever you ask the Father in My name, He will give it to you” (Gospel of John, chapter 16, verse 23). Prayer for the dead existed back in Old Testament, sacrifices were made for them (2nd Book of Maccabees, chapter 12, verse 42-45).
The benefit of praying for the dead is this. that if a person sinned during his life, but still tried to fight passions, and having died, ended up in hell, prayer can help him, since “God is not [the God] of the dead, but of the living, for with Him all are alive” ( Gospel of Luke, chapter 20, verse 38). After death, a person’s soul can no longer change anything, all her hopes are for those left on earth. There is a pious legend that on parental Saturdays the souls of even the most inveterate sinners receive consolation and joy.
The Holy Church considers prayer for the living and departed brethren to be a necessary, inseparable part of both public worship and cell and home rule. She herself gives the appropriate prayers and establishes their rites.
That's why prayer for the deceased - sacred duty of every Christian. A great reward and great consolation awaits the one who, with his prayers, helps a deceased neighbor receive forgiveness of sins. For the All-Good Lord counts this act as righteousness and therefore, first of all, bestows mercy on those who show mercy, and then on the souls towards whom this mercy was shown. Those who remember the departed will be remembered by the Lord, and people will also remember them after they depart from the world.
Even during the exodus of the soul from the body - if there is such an opportunity, you need to read Canon on the separation of the soul from the body. As St. Athanasius (Sakharov) writes, “The Church, which has taken care of every Orthodox Christian from the moment of his birth, cannot abandon him even in this last terrible hour... on behalf of a person who is separated from his soul and cannot speak, with the verb the Canon of Prayer to the Lord our God Jesus Christ and the Most Pure Theotokos, Mother of the Lord. The lips of a dying man are silent and the tongue does not speak, but the heart speaks.”
After a person dies (even before the funeral service) - read immediately Canon on the departure of the soul from the body.
Before placing the body of the deceased in the coffin washed water out of a feeling of love and respect for him, as well as as a sign of the spiritual purity and fragility of the life of the deceased and out of a desire for him to appear clean before God after the resurrection. The basis for this custom is the example of Jesus Christ, whose body was washed after being taken down from the Cross. According to tradition, ablution is performed to the singing of the Trisagion.
After washing, the body of the deceased is dressed in new clean clothes, which indicate the renewal of the body after the resurrection, that the deceased has prepared to appear at the judgment of God and wants to remain clean at this court.
The coffin, before the body is placed in it, sprinkled with holy water- like a house where the body of the deceased will dwell until the Second Coming of Christ and the resurrection. “And just as during the consecration of a new house, not only the house is sprinkled, but also those who had to live in it, so here the coffin itself is sprinkled from the outside and from the inside, and the body of the deceased that is placed in it,” writes Saint Athanasius (Sakharov).
The washed and clothed deceased is placed face up in the coffin, with his eyes closed, as if sleeping, with his lips closed, as if silent, and his hands folded crosswise on his chest (right over left) as a sign that the deceased believes in Christ crucified, risen and ascended to heaven and able to resurrect the dead. The deceased must wear pectoral cross.
A light light is placed on the body and coffin church cover as a sign that “the deceased is faithful, holy, and under the protection of Christ” - according to the word of St. Simeon of Thessalonica.
On top of the veil is placed on the hands of the deceased folded on the chest cross or icon of the Savior so that the image is turned towards the face of the deceased.
Placed on the forehead of the deceased paper whisk with the image of the Lord Jesus Christ, the Virgin Mary and St. John the Baptist with the words of the Trisagion as a sign of the deceased’s belonging to the number of sons of the Church of Christ and loyalty to it to the end. The deceased is symbolically adorned with a crown, like a person who fought against the flesh, the world and the devil and left the field of achievement with honor.
According to the position of the body in the coffin over the deceased, you should begin to read Psalter with appropriate funeral prayers. Reading the Psalter over the tomb of the deceased is a very ancient custom, dating back to the first centuries of Christianity.
It is the Psalter that reflects all the diversity of the movements of the soul, vividly sympathizes with both our joy and our sorrow, and brings consolation and encouragement. Reading the Psalter over the tomb brings great consolation to the souls of the departed as reading the Word of God and as a testimony to the memory of loved ones. This reading is accepted by God as a pleasant sacrifice to cleanse the sins of those remembered.
The reading of the Psalter over the tomb of the deceased continues until burial on the 3rd day after death (with breaks during the service of memorial services, if any are served at the tomb) - all the time the deceased is at home.
IN 3rd day, before the burial is performed funeral service. It is customary to perform a funeral service without fail. in the temple. A funeral service at home is permissible only in extreme situations, when it is completely impossible to perform it in a church.
Before removing the coffin with the body of the deceased from the house, it is customary to sing Trisagion. The tristo is also sung during the bringing of the coffin into the church for the funeral service.
If the funeral is conducted according to Orthodox customs, then following them no need to use wreaths made from dead flowers and even more so music. Instead of music, the soul should only hear: “Holy God, Holy Mighty, Holy Immortal, have mercy on us!”
Flowers and wreaths at the coffin should only be made of fresh flowers, as a symbol of life.
In the temple the coffin with the body of the deceased is installed with an open face facing the east (with feet towards the altar). Around the coffin on 4 sides candles are lit to commemorate the fact that the deceased, having ended his earthly life, moves to the land of non-evening light, where the Sun of Truth - Jesus Christ - shines, and where the righteous “will be enlightened like the sun.”
Relatives and loved ones of the deceased stand around the coffin - also with candles, as a sign of the lordship of our faith, a fiery prayer for the deceased to the Lord, as evidence of the wish for the soul of the deceased to remain in eternity with God.
According to the traditions of the holy fathers and according to the spiritual practice of the Holy Church, the soul of the deceased without a funeral service has no repose. Therefore, performing the funeral service is very important for her. The entire Church, in the person of priests and worshipers, asks the Lord, by His great mercy, to forgive all the sins of the deceased and give him resting place in the abodes of heaven.
“By performing the last service at the tomb of a deceased Orthodox Christian, the Holy Church not only means to offer a prayer for the forgiveness of his sins, but also to honor a deceased brother on this exceptional day for him, when he becomes the center of attention of the entire Church meeting, as if hero of the day or birthday, for the last time to delight the departing one with a solemn and touching service in the church, where before many times we met together... and together with the waist,” writes St. Athanasius (Sakharov) about the funeral service.
At the end of the funeral service the priest reads prayer of permission. In this prayer, the priest not only asks for forgiveness of the soul of the deceased, but also prays to the Lord to remove any curse weighing on the soul of the person being interred. Pronounced last word forgiveness and perfect reconciliation.
After reading, the prayer of permission in the form of a scroll is placed in the hand of the deceased to commemorate the fact that with this handwriting he will appear at the Last Judgment of Christ and declare his Orthodoxy, his union with the Church, and the forgiveness of all his voluntary and involuntary sins. Placing a prayer into the hand of the deceased is a purely Russian custom, but it is sanctified by more than 900 years of tradition.
The funeral service ends goodbye to the deceased, otherwise called " last kiss”, performed under the singing of the funeral stichera “Come, brethren, let us give the last kiss to the deceased...”. “These are such touching and touching stichera that even if you read them with attention once, it will be difficult to put them down another time with a light heart,” writes Saint Athanasius (Sakharov).
Kissing the deceased is given as a sign of love and respect for the body, as the true temple of God, in which the deceased will appear again after the resurrection, and also as a sign of the unity of the living and the dead. When saying goodbye, it is customary to kiss the aureole placed on the forehead of the deceased and venerate the icon in his hands. At the same time, they are baptized on the icon.
After saying goodbye, you can take the icon home from the hands of the deceased, or you can leave it in the temple. The icon is not left in the coffin.
Then the body of the deceased is finally completely covered with a veil.
The priest before closing the coffin sprinkles the ground crosswise on the body covered with a veil with the words: “The earth is the Lord’s, and the fullness of it is the world and all that live in it,” as if returning to the earth what it gave up to us when the Lord created our forefather Adam from the earth.
If farewell is not done in the temple, but at the grave before burial, then the relatives of the deceased take the earth and sprinkle it on the body of the deceased after farewell already at the grave.
After sprinkling with earth, the face of the deceased is no longer revealed (however, if this happened, then nothing terrible happened).
The removal of the coffin from the church after the funeral service and its transfer to the grave is also accompanied by singing Trisagion.
The deceased is buried with his face looking east(i.e., with his head to the west) - where he had been praying all his life.
It is customary to cover the grave with earth while singing troparions. With the spirits of the righteous…».
From deep pre-Christian antiquity there is a custom to mark the place of burial with a device above it. hill, big or small.
After burial in the west of the grave, a mark is placed at the feet of the deceased. cross- a symbol of victory over death, as a sign that after the general resurrection, having risen, the deceased will be ready to take the cross with him as proof of his title of Christian, which he bore on earth.
The cross can be as simple as wooden or metal. Luxurious monuments on graves are not at all necessary and do not bring anything to the deceased.
According to the Charter of the Church cannot be done Orthodox rituals of burial and church commemoration of people unbaptized, since the unbaptized did not receive forgiveness of sins from God in the Sacrament of Baptism: “Whoever is not born of water and the Spirit cannot enter the Kingdom of God” (Gospel of John, chapter 3, verse 5).
Likewise, it is not customary to pray for the baptized, but those who renounced the faith(heretics) who during their lifetime treated the Church with ridicule, hostility, or, considered Orthodox, became carried away eastern religions. Previously, such people were excommunicated from the Church (anathema was proclaimed) - now this is done very rarely, but these people excommunicated themselves from the Church. The Church prays only for those who recognize the Orthodox Church as the true Church.
There is no church funeral service suicides(except in cases of insanity).
If a person has not united with the Church during his lifetime, the Church’s prayer for him after death, even if such is accomplished, will be simply useless. God cannot force a human soul to come to Himself.
Commemoration of those who cannot be commemorated at a church service, with the blessing of the spiritual father, can be performed by relatives of the deceased at home, on home prayer . For example, St. Theodore the Studite, not allowing open commemoration of the deceased heretical iconoclasts at the liturgy, found it possible for loved ones to commemorate them in secret: “unless everyone in his soul prays for such and does alms for them.”
Orthodox believers do not forget their deceased loved ones even after the funeral. Remembrance of the Dead- this is the storage of memory of them. Moreover, this is not just memory, but memory combined with prayer, that is - prayer memory.
There are two types of commemoration - church (in a temple) performed at proskomedia during the Divine Liturgy and at funeral services, and homemade (cell), when reading morning prayers, when reading the Psalter and Gospel. Remembrance should be, if possible, daily.
Of course, the most preferable is - church commemoration. And at the same time, the main thing is precisely commemoration of the deceased at the Divine Liturgy, at the proskomedia, since there is nothing higher than the Liturgy on earth.
Ordered for the deceased magpies- this is the same commemoration during the Divine Liturgy - for 40 days in a row (or six months, or 1 year - depending on how long the order is made)
The temple also serves funeral services And lithium(abbreviated rite of requiem).
In some monasteries there is another type of commemoration of the dead - when reading the indestructible Psalter, which is read around the clock with names commemorated.
In addition, there are special ones established by the Church, All Souls' Days.
Special days of prayer for the dead are 3rd, 9th And 40th days upon death. The special significance of these days in the life of the soul is as follows:
3rd day- this is the day when the soul is ascended by the angels for first worship of God. On the same day the soul passes and ordeal on the way to the Throne of God.
According to apostolic tradition, commemoration on the 3rd day is also performed because the deceased was baptized in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, God, one in Trinity.
Also - in confirmation of the fact that the deceased retained three theological (evangelical) virtues, which are the basis of our salvation - faith, hope and love.
And - because his being had a threefold nature - spirit, soul and body, which sin together and therefore, during a person’s transition to the afterlife, all three require cleansing from sins.
9th day- this is the day when, after considering for six days all the joys of the righteous in paradise, the soul is again ascended by the angels to worship of God.
According to apostolic tradition, prayers on this day are performed so that the soul of the deceased is worthy of being canonized through prayers and intercession nine angelic ranks.
40th day has for the soul of a deceased person vital importance. On this day, after viewing the torment of sinners in hell, the soul again ascends and is brought to worship to God, Which does it here over her Private court. At this Private Judgment, the fate of the soul in the afterlife is determined until the general resurrection of the flesh, after which the final Judgment - the Last Judgment - will occur.
Commemorating the dead on the 40th day is a very ancient custom. Back in Old Testament Church Mourning for the dead was supposed to last 40 days. Saint Simeon of Thessalonica writes: “The Forty-Sorties are performed in remembrance Ascension of the Lord, which happened on the fortieth day after the Resurrection, and with the purpose that the deceased, rising from the tomb, ascended to meet the Lord, was caught up in the clouds, and so was always with the Lord.”
Other commemorations – 1 year, and subsequent ones from the day of death - are performed in memory of the fact that the day of death of a Christian is not the end of his life, but - it is Birthday it for Novaya, Better life. Celebrating the second birth of a Christian to Heaven, we implore God’s mercy that He would reward them with their longed-for fatherland as an eternal inheritance and create them as inhabitants of Paradise.
In addition to these days, the Church has since ancient times included in the general worship service days of general remembrance all deceased Christians, called parents. These include:
Ecumenical meat-eating parental Saturday– Saturday before the start of Maslenitsa;
Saturdays of the 2nd, 3rd, 4th weeks of Lent;
Radonitsa– Tuesday of the second week (week) after Easter (10th day after Easter);
Trinity Ecumenical Parents' Saturday– Saturday before the Feast of the Holy Trinity (Pentecost);
Dimitrievskaya Parents' Saturday- Saturday before the day of remembrance of St. Great Martyr Demetrius of Thessalonica November 8/October 26.
The most important of them are 2Ecumenical Parents' Saturdays (Meat-eating And Trinity) have been established since the first centuries of Christianity. These days the Church commemorates all the departed, from Adam to the dead today.
Starting on these Saturdays, the entire funeral service is certainly performed, very touching and touching, exceptional in its content, deliberately compiled only for these two days.
Meat Saturday is performed in memory of the fact that the following Sunday is dedicated to remembrance The Last Judgment of Christ, and the Church prays for all the departed, that the Lord will show them mercy during this worldwide trial.
Trinity Saturday takes place before Pentecost, when the Holy Spirit descended on the Apostles. And the Church prays on this day that the saving grace of the Holy Spirit will wash away the sins of our fathers and brothers who have gone before.
Three Saturdays in Lent are performed for the sake of prayerful union in love and peace between the living and the dead during the period of fasting - a time of spiritual achievement, repentance and prayer.
In addition, these Saturdays are set aside for prayer for the departed for the reason that during all the weeks (weeks) of Great Lent the full Liturgy is not celebrated and there is no commemoration of the departed during the Liturgy (except Saturdays and Sundays). And on the days of the full Liturgy of John Chrysostom - on Saturdays it is customary to pray for the benefit of the departed and for the consolation of the mourning. This is, as it were, a compensation for the liturgical commemoration that cannot take place on weekdays of Lent.
Radonitsa- this is the first day after Easter when the usual daily commemoration of the dead is allowed according to the charter. On this day, believers congratulate their deceased loved ones on the holiday of the Resurrection of Christ, sharing this joyful news with them - hence the name of this day.
And how days of special remembrance of deceased soldiers– highlighted May 9(warriors who died in the Great Patriotic War), And Dimitrievskaya Saturday(the soldiers who died on the Kulikovo field; later on this day the commemoration of all the soldiers in general, and even later - of all the deceased Orthodox Christians in general) was united.
Commemoration of all those who suffered during the time of persecution for the faith of Christ- takes place on the day of the celebration of the memory of the Council of New Martyrs and Confessors of Russia - February 7/January 25 or the next Sunday after.
Besides, every day is Saturday, among the other days of the week, is primarily the day of remembrance of the dead. “Saturday, the day of rest, “the seventh day... which of old the Lord blessed... rest from work, on which he rests... and the Only Begotten Son of God... became the Sabbath in the flesh,” was chosen by the Holy Church primarily for the remembrance of all Her children who have died from earthly labors, as those , whom She has among her holy prayer books, as well as all the others, although sinners, who lived in faith and died in the hope of the resurrection,” writes Saint Athanasius (Sakharov).
You should also know that on certain days remembrance of the dead is not performed, and in the Church all funeral commemorations (funeral litanies and memorial services) are postponed, and on some days (in Great Lent) the liturgical commemoration of the dead is canceled.
Whenever the full Liturgy is celebrated, the commemoration of the departed is also performed at the proskomedia in the altar. But public commemoration (at litanies) and service funeral service some days canceled. This:
Twelfth and great holidays;
Saturday Lazarev,
Holy Week (especially Maundy Thursday and Holy Saturday);
Holy Easter Day;
days from Holy Easter to Radonitsa;
Wednesday of Mid-Pentecost;
giving of Easter;
Holy Spirit Monday;
A special procedure for commemorating the dead installed within Lent.
At this time from Monday to Friday- either the Liturgy is not served at all, or - the Liturgy of the Presanctified Gifts is served without proskomedia and funeral litany. Hence - there is no liturgical commemoration of the dead (as well as the living).
During this time, commemoration of the dead is carried out only at morning lithium after the end of the service.
Funeral services these days also are not committed.
Complete Liturgy in Lent with the remembrance of the dead on proskomedia done only twice a week – on Saturday and Sunday.
But on Sundays During Great Lent the Liturgy of St. Basil the Great, which lacks a funeral litany, public commemoration of the deceased and funeral services are also not held.
Thus, the only days, when in Lent a full commemoration of the dead is performed - the Liturgical at the proskomedia, the funeral litany and requiem services are served - this 1st, 2nd, 3rd, and 4th Saturdays of Lent.
Moreover, the 2nd, 3rd and 4th Saturdays, as mentioned above, are days of special remembrance of the dead.
Funeral service celebrated in Lent any day.
Funeral services in Lent are performed only on the Friday evening before 1st, 2nd, 3rd and 4th Saturdays Great Lent and on these Saturdays themselves.
Based on all this, commemoration a person who died during Lent, neither on the 3rd nor on the 9th day (if they fall during the week - from Monday to Friday), doesn't happen, but must be performed on the two Saturdays closest to the day of death, regardless of whether these Saturdays are the third or ninth days.
On one of these Saturdays, a commemoration may also be made of those who died on the 40th day before the start of Lent.
For example, if a person died on Monday, then the memorial service of the 3rd day is celebrated not on Wednesday, but on the next Saturday of this week, and the memorial service of the 9th day is not celebrated on Tuesday of the coming week, but again on the following Saturday. On these same days, a funeral meal is also prepared.
If a person died during Holy Week, then the newly deceased can perform the funeral service and on Strastnaya, but except for Great Heel.
All commemorations (and the Liturgical, and the memorial service, and the memorial meal) of the 3rd, 9th and 40th days, which occurred starting from Lazarus Saturday, and during Holy Week, are postponed to Radonitsa.
If a person died on Holy Week(from the day of Holy Easter to Saturday of Bright Week inclusive), then instead of the Canon on the exodus of the soul from the body - read Easter canon.
Instead of the Psalter, they read over the tomb of the deceased on Bright Week Acts of the Holy Apostles.
There is also a special rank Easter funeral service.
The singing of the Trisagion when transferring the body of the deceased is replaced by the singing of “ Christ is Risen..." or Easter stichera.
Commemorations of the 9th and 40th days that occurred on Bright Week are postponed to Radonitsa.
Unfortunately, from Soviet times, when it was difficult to celebrate Easter in church due to persecution and the lack of churches, and people gathered at least to the cemetery for prayer on this holiday, a completely incorrect custom has survived to this day visiting cemeteries on Easter. Easter is a day of exceptional spiritual joy, and that is why on this day the Church cancels all funeral prayers. And visiting cemeteries on this day is a tradition that contradicts Orthodox spirituality.
The Church blesses the first visit to cemeteries after Lent only on Radonitsa.
You should know that on the days of remembrance of the dead first of all we must visit the temple, order funeral commemorations(proskomedia and requiem), offer it yourself prayer to God about the repose of a person close to us - both at home and in church (not limiting ourselves to just ordering commemorations), if possible - visit the cemetery and only then sit down funeral table.
Let's add that this table should be - no alcohol, because in our time they almost universally commemorate the dead with vodka, which is fundamentally wrong and does not bring them any benefit, on the contrary, it saddens them and increases their suffering.
If (as has become very common), leaving church commemoration, one confines oneself only funeral table, having spent all your energy only on the arrangement of this table, then no benefit will be brought to the soul of the deceased.
Those present, eating at the meal, remember their departed relatives, for whom this meal is being prepared. The meal itself is alms, done for deceased relatives, because the expenses spent on it are a sacrifice.
Before the meal should be done lithium- a short rite of requiem, which can also be performed by a layman. As a last resort, you need to at least read Psalm 90 and the Lord’s Prayer. The first dish eaten at a funeral is kutya(kolivo). These are boiled cereal grains (wheat or rice) with honey and raisins. Grains serve as a symbol of resurrection, and honey - the sweetness that the righteous enjoy in the Kingdom of God. According to the charter, kutia must be blessed with a special rite during a memorial service; if this is not possible, then you need to sprinkle it with holy water.
In addition to praying for the dead - in church and at home - another effective way to remember them and ease their fate after death is alms performed by us in their memory or on their behalf.
“Prayer and alms belong to deeds of mercy, to deeds of charity... Prayer for the deceased with alms done in his name appeases the Lord Jesus Christ, who rejoices in deeds of mercy done as if on behalf of the deceased himself.
Alms belong to the deceased. The custom of giving alms to the poor at the burial of the deceased dates back to from ancient times“, the meaning of alms was known back in the Old Testament,” writes monk Mitrofan in the book “Afterlife.”
There are cases of tragic death when it is impossible to find the body of the deceased or when a person goes missing and relatives find out about his death many years later. The body of a person who drowned in a shipwreck, died in war, or as a result of a plane crash, or in a terrorist attack, cannot always be found and identified. In the 20th century in Russia, it was often impossible to perform a funeral service over the body of the deceased due to the lack of churches and priests or due to the former persecution of the Church and persecution of believers.
In such cases, a tradition arose to perform the so-called funeral service in absentia. But it is permissible only in cases of extreme need and real necessity, and not due to laziness and carelessness of the relatives of the deceased and not because “it’s easier that way.” This would be contrary to our piety, obedience to the Holy Church and our love for the deceased.
Unfortunately, with the burial of the dead we have a lot of common even in the Orthodox environment. superstitions And pagan and magical rituals.
The most common superstition is hanging mirrors in the house while the deceased is there (allegedly, whoever sees himself in this mirror will soon die, or the soul, seeing itself, will be afraid, or so that the soul does not appear in the mirror, scaring the relatives, or some other ridiculously strange explanations) - absolutely an absurd custom that, alas, has become widespread.
Ablution the deceased, sometimes instead of singing the Trisagion - sometimes accompanied by various pagan remarks like “Come on, help,” and so on.
Placed next to the coffin glass of water(and sometimes even vodka!) with a slice of bread – a “snack” for the soul!…
Sometimes they put it completely in the coffin extra things– for example, a handkerchief, bread, money, etc. (I remember the Egyptian pharaoh in the pyramid with his chariots and slaves...).
Sometimes they quit money to the grave to “ransom the deceased.”
They created a completely unrelated ban on relatives bear the coffin the deceased, although according to church rules the coffin should be carried by relatives and friends.
There is also a belief that nothing can be done until the fortieth day. give from the deceased's belongings, although it is precisely at this time that he, on the contrary, needs abundant prayer and alms.
The attitude towards that earth, which is customary to sprinkle crosswise on the body of the deceased. For the sake of this “countrywoman”, sometimes they only come to the temple, if for some reason the person has not been buried before, and forgetting about the funeral service they say one thing - “Give me the countrywoman”...
Instead of funeral prayers and wishes " May he rest in heaven" or " Eternal memory" - relatives and friends often wish the deceased that " May he rest in peace“- and this starts from the cemetery and to the wake...
All these rituals and superstitions, of course, absolutely unacceptable at burial Orthodox man. And we must try with all our might not allow them both to ourselves and if we see that our relatives and close people are doing this - tell them and convince them to abandon all this paganism.
Special mention must be made of wake. Often, unfortunately, they turn into the most painful and terrible event for the deceased, more reminiscent of pagan funeral feasts. It all starts with bottles vodka on the table. The amount of alcohol at a wake can rival the amount at wedding feasts. This is shameful for Christians and sinful custom- the remembrance of the deceased with alcohol has spread to the point that even Orthodox Christians take a glass at the funeral service... All this brings unspeakable grief to the newly departed soul, which these days is faced with the decision of God's Court, and which yearns for especially fervent prayer to God.
There is also a superstitious custom ban on the use of knives and forks at the funeral table - only spoons remain on the table. Why? It’s not clear...
Often for all 40 days they put a photograph of the deceased in the red corner, and next to it - again the same one glass with vodka covered with a piece of bread...
I don’t want to talk about it, but how often can you see in cemeteries that on the days of remembrance of the dead, relatives arrange them right on the graves or next to them feast, which cannot be called anything other than pagan funeral feasts. And what a blasphemy! – the remains of vodka or wine are poured directly onto the graves of relatives or glasses of vodka and food are left on the graves of the dead...
“What is going on in our cemeteries! - exclaims our contemporary, the famous elder Archimandrite John (Krestyankin). “On the graves where there are crosses!” “All Souls' Day,” continues Father John, “is truly a black day for our departed! Instead of prayer, instead of candles and incense, real pagan funeral feasts are held at the graves on this day. And our deceased in the next world burn with the fire of grief and pity, like the evangelical rich man who asked the Lord to tell his brothers, still alive, what awaits them after death. If any of you celebrated these funeral feasts and collected a table at the grave, go to the cemetery and ask forgiveness from your deceased relatives for the terrible suffering that you brought to them with your lack of understanding, and never do this again on a holy day, when the Church prays according to your notes about the repose of our deceased loved ones, do not make this day the most painful for them. And ask the Lord for forgiveness for your foolishness.” (From the book of Archimandrite John (Krestyankin) “The Experience of Constructing a Confession”).
By long tradition regular morning and evening prayers are replaced on Holy Week Easter hours. All hours: 1st, 3rd, 6th, 9th are exactly the same and read the same way. This sequence of the Easter Hours contains the main Easter hymns. It begins, of course, “Christ is risen from the dead, trampling down death by death and giving life to those in the tombs,” “Having seen the Resurrection of Christ...” is sung three times, then the ipakoi, exapostilary, and so on are sung. This reading time sequence is much shorter than the usual morning and evening rule. Ordinary prayers, which contain both repentant prayers and other types, are all replaced by Easter chants, which express our joy at this great event.
How do they receive communion on Bright Week? What is the charter of the Church?
There are no regulations of the Church regarding the specifics of Communion on Bright Week. They receive communion in exactly the same order as they receive communion at other times.
But there are different traditions. There is a tradition of the synodal period of the pre-revolutionary Church. It was that people received communion quite rarely. And, mainly, they received communion by fasting. It was not customary to receive communion on Easter. Back in the 70-80s, in the Pukhtitsa Monastery, the desire to receive communion on Easter night was perceived as a very strange movement; it seemed that it was absolutely unnecessary. Well, as a last resort, on Holy Saturday, but in general, on Holy Thursday, it was believed that one should take communion. The same thing applied to Bright Week. The logic by which this practice is justified in this case is approximately that Communion is always associated with repentance, with confession before Communion, and since we celebrate great holiday and, in general, other great holidays, then what kind of repentance is there on a holiday? And no repentance means no Communion.
From my point of view, this does not stand up to any theological criticism. And the practice of the ancient Church of the pre-Synodal period, both in Russia and in general in the ancient Church everywhere, was that precisely on great holidays people always sought to partake of the Holy Mysteries of Christ. Because to experience the fullness of the celebrated event, to truly participate in the event that the Church celebrates, is possible only in Communion. And if we experience this event only speculatively, then this is not at all what the Church wants and can give to us, believers. We must join in! To physically join the reality that is remembered on this day. And this can be done only by fully participating in the Sacrament of the Eucharist, which takes place on this day.
Therefore, modern practice in most churches is such that people are under no circumstances denied Communion on Bright Week. I think that it is reasonable for those who wish to receive communion these days to limit themselves to the confession that took place during Holy Week. If a person came on Holy Days and confessed, and he does not feel such serious internal reasons that would separate him from the opportunity to receive communion, some sins during this Easter period, then I think that it would be completely possible to receive communion without confession . However, under no circumstances do I recommend doing this without consulting with your confessor, and somehow agreeing with the priest in whose church you are receiving communion. Just so that there are no misunderstandings or differences of opinion.
Why is it that on Holy Saturday, on Easter itself and throughout Bright Week, instead of the Trisagion, “Those who were baptized into Christ, who put on Christ!” is sung, which is sung at the baptism of people?
This means that this period in the ancient church was a period of mass baptism. And if people were baptized on Holy Saturday, which was practiced extremely widely, so that they would already take part in the Easter service as faithful, and not as catechumens, then throughout Holy Week these people were constantly in the temple. They were anointed with myrrh, and the places anointed with myrrh were tied with special bandages. In this form, people sat in the temple without leaving. It was a little like how now, when one is tonsured a monk, the newly tonsured person is constantly in the church and participates in all services. The same thing happened to the newly baptized for seven days. And, in addition, this was the time when sacramental or secret conversations were held with them (mystogogy in Greek). We can read these conversations of St. Maximus the Confessor, other famous preachers of the ancient Church, who did a lot to educate the newly baptized. These are the conversations and daily prayer and Communion in church. And on the eighth day, the very rituals that we perform immediately after Baptism were performed: cutting hair, wiping off the world, and so on. All this took place on the eighth day after the period of a person’s dedication, real churching, introduction into church life. They wiped him off, took off his bandages, and he emerged as a truly experienced spiritual Christian and began his further church life. Therefore, in the ancient church such people, and the laity along with them, received communion daily. Everyone praised God together for His great benefits.
Bright Week is continuous, what to do with fasting?
Here you can refer to the practice of priests. We all serve on these bright days, and the priests do not fast at all. This fast before Communion is associated with the tradition of relatively rare communion. If people receive communion regularly, say, once a week, come to church on Sunday, or come to receive communion on the Twelfth Feast, then I think that most priests do not require these people to fast specially before Communion, except for natural fasting days - Wednesday and Friday , which are for all people and always. And if, as we know, these days do not exist on Bright Week, it means that on these days we do not fast and receive communion without this special fast before Communion.
Is it possible to read akathists on Bright Week, at least privately? Maybe only the Lord can be glorified this week, but the Mother of God and the saints are not allowed?
Indeed, now all our spiritual experiences are directed towards this main Event. Therefore, in churches you notice that priests on vacations do not, most often, commemorate the daily saints, but say the festive Easter vacation. In services, we also do not use the memory of saints, although a prayer service on Holy Easter, if performed, then the commemoration of the saints of the day is provided there, and the troparion can be sung. There is no such strict statutory rule that the commemoration of saints during this period is strictly prohibited. But such services as akathists and others, which are dedicated to events not related to the Resurrection, will somewhat unfocus our spiritual attention. And, perhaps, indeed, during this period you should not study the calendar too carefully and see what events are there, but rather immerse yourself more in the experiences of Easter events. Well, if there is such a great inspiration, then, of course, you can read the akathist privately.
Is it possible to remember the dead during Holy Week and Bright Week?
According to tradition, it is not customary in the Church to perform funeral services on Holy and Bright Weeks. If a person dies, he is buried with a special Easter rite, and the first mass commemoration of the dead, which takes place after Easter, is Radonitsa: Tuesday of the second week after Easter. Strictly speaking, it is not provided for by the charter, but, nevertheless, it is a tradition that has long been established. On these days, cemeteries are often visited and memorial services are held. But, of course, you can commemorate it privately. At the Liturgy, if we perform proskomedia, of course, we commemorate both the living and the deceased. You can also submit notes, but public commemoration in the form of a memorial service is usually not accepted at this time.
What is read in preparation for Communion on Bright Week?
There may be different options. If usually three canons are read: the penitential canon, the Mother of God, and the Guardian Angel, then at least the penitential canon is not so obligatory in this combination. The rule for Holy Communion (and prayers) is certainly worth reading. But it makes sense to replace the canons with the reading of one Easter canon.
How to combine the Twelfth Feasts or Holy Week and worldly work?
This is a really difficult, serious, painful problem. We live in a secular state that is not at all focused on Christian holidays. True, there are some changes in this matter. Here Christmas is made a day off. Easter always falls on a Sunday for us, but they don’t give us a day off after it. Although, say, in Germany and other countries, a big holiday is always followed by a day off. They have Easter Monday, that's what it's called. The same thing on Trinity, on other holidays in Christian traditional countries where there was no revolution, there was no godless government that eradicated all this, uprooted it from the roots. In all countries, these holidays are recognized, despite the fact that the state is secular in nature.
Unfortunately, we don’t have this yet. Therefore, we have to apply it to the circumstances of life in which the Lord judges us to live. If the work is such that it does not tolerate the possibility of taking time off or rescheduling it to other days, or somehow shifting it more or less freely, then you have to choose. Either you stay at this job and sacrifice some of your need to attend church services more often, or you should try to change your job so that there is more freedom to attend church services. But still, very often, with good relations, you can agree to leave work a little earlier, or warn that you will come a little later. There are early services - Liturgy, say, at 7 o'clock in the morning. On all major holidays and on Holy Week, on Holy Thursday, two Liturgies are always served in large churches. You can go to the early Liturgy, and by 9 o’clock you will already be free, at the beginning of 10. So by 10 o'clock you can get to work, almost anywhere in the city.
Of course, it is impossible to combine work with attending all the services of Holy Week both morning and evening. And I think that there is no urgent need to break with normal, good work if it does not provide the opportunity to be in all services. At least on the main ones, say, on Great Thursdays. The removal of the Shroud is a wonderful service, but it is performed during the day, which means you will not be there, but you can come to the rite of Burial in the evening at 6 o’clock. And you can be a little late, it won’t be a big deal either. The 12th Gospel is celebrated on Thursday evening - also a service that is very good to be at. Well, if the work is daily or some kind of complex schedule, you have to work 12 hours a day, then you will inevitably miss some services, but the Lord sees your desire to be at these services, to pray, and will reward you. Even your absence will be credited to you as if you were there.
What is important is your heartfelt desire, not your personal presence. Another thing is that we ourselves want to be in these special moments of the Savior’s life in the temple and, as it were, closer to Him, closer to experience everything that He was destined to experience, but circumstances do not always allow. Therefore, if your job does not limit you so much that you cannot go to church at all, you should not change it. You must try to find such moments and negotiate with your superiors so that they give you some small concessions, but at other times you will try to work better, more, so that there are no complaints.
Our daily life always presents us with some problems of how we can combine life in the world with our spiritual life, with our church life. And here we need to show some flexibility. We cannot refuse work, we cannot go somewhere underground, or then we must choose the monastic path, then our entire life will be devoted to God and service. But if there is a family, this is impossible, and here it is necessary to apply it. Sometimes it’s not even work that limits us, but household chores and children that require our attention. If the mother is constantly in church, and the child is always alone at home, little good will happen either. Although the mother prays in the temple, sometimes it is more important to simply be personally present and participate in the lives of her children. So, be “wise as serpents” in resolving such issues.
17.04.2009 14:54:10
Is it true that in the first week after Easter the gates to heaven open and everyone who died during this time goes to heaven, regardless of the degree of their sin? Sorry if the question is incorrect. Thank you.
Dear reader!
True, there is such an old legend Orthodox Church that those Orthodox Christians who died on Easter or Bright Week will bypass the ordeal of the afterlife. This Tradition is based on the ineffable mercy of the Lord, according to which the thief crucified on the cross with Christ, who called out to Him, received the promise on the same day to be with the Savior in Paradise. There is a lot of evidence confirming this Tradition.
Sergius Nilus in the book “The Power of God and Human Weakness” in the chapter “Christ is Risen!” We read about how in 1906, after the Easter service, pilgrims from the Optina Monastery drowned in the Zhizdra River. Among them was the maiden Catherine, whose father S. Nilus consoled in grief like this:
Well, doesn't this make you happy? On Maundy Thursday she received communion, and on the first day of Easter God took her to Himself. Do you know how our holy Church consoles us? Whoever, she says, dies on Easter, his soul goes straight to the Lord, bypassing all the ordeals.
Moreover, Nilus cites the testimony of a wanderer, to whom the mother of the drowned maiden Katerina said that in a dream she saw her daughter more than once, who punished her: “Don’t cry,” she says, “mama, “I feel good with the Lord.”
Orthodox Christians believe that death itself on Holy Week or on Bright Easter Week already speaks of the Lord’s mercy for the departed soul, since nothing happens by accident, especially since, according to the conviction of Orthodox children and their pastors, death is not accidental. If a sinner died at this time, it means that the Lord had mercy on him for some secret virtues; the death of the righteous man at this time confirms the godliness of his life.
The evidence of S. Nilus from a church point of view is beyond doubt and is authoritative, because. This writer published all his works with the blessing of the elders of Optina Pustyn, and his books went through their editorial control, which was not always painless for the author’s pride. Let's give some more evidence spiritual father S. Nilus of Optina Elder Fr. Barsanuphius on the blessed death on Easter of the nun Euphrosyne, deeply revered by Fr. Barsanuphius for the height of her spiritual life:
“Today is the day of Holy Easter, the greatest holiday in the Christian Church, a holiday and a triumph of celebrations. Every day the Church resounds with the joyful songs of the Easter canon. I remember how Mother Euphrosyne admired the canon.”
“Here,” she said, “my life has passed, I don’t know anything good with which to appear before the Throne of God, but I hear the singing of “Resurrection Day, let us be enlightened, people,” and my soul becomes joyful, calm. “From death Christ God has brought us to life, and from earth to heaven."
The Lord fulfilled Mother Euphrosyne’s wish, and she died on Easter. When they lifted the coffin with her withered body of an 80-year old woman, the choir sang “Resurrection Day” instead of “Holy God”, the doors of the Church opened wide, light poured from the street like a wave, and she went to the eternal, unstoppable Light. May the Lord grant us such a blessed death. Pray about this, and when the deacon proclaims: “Christian death of your life, painless, shameless, peaceful,” do not forget to put down a bow, may the Lord rest you with His saints. Amen".
And here is the testimony of S. Nilus about the righteous death of the remarkable ascetic in the world, Elena Andreevna Voronova, who devoted her life to material and spiritual charity among prisoners:
“From the beginning of Lent, Elena Andreevna began to feel very bad, the attacks of angina pectoris intensified and became more frequent to the point that our poor friend, despite all her angelic patience, was forced to moan loudly and complain to God about unbearable torment. She groans in her unspeakable suffering and continues to lament:
Lord, forgive me! It’s hard for me, Lord! But I don’t complain, I don’t complain, Lord, send me impatient patience!
And she continually remained in such moments from the first week of Great Lent until Great Monday of Holy Week. On this day, after a particularly severe attack, she seemed to have brightened up and said to the friend of her entire mature life, with whom she had spent at least thirty years under the same roof:
No, Sonya, I will certainly die on Good Friday.
How do you know this?
The Lord Himself told me this: I saw Him. He appeared to me and said: “You have a good heart, so be patient until Friday: on the day of My crucifixion you too will die.
As she said, she died on Good Friday.”
So, Church Tradition says that those whom the Lord has deigned to die on the day of Holy Easter, bypassing the ordeal, go to the Lord. But let us emphasize here the word “honored”; Let us remember the spiritual instruction to us from Father Barsanuphius of Optina that we need to ask for a blessed death, pray to God, prepare for a truly Christian death with our entire life, since because of our sins we should not rely on the fact that our death may be sudden , will fall on the Great Days.
Church Tradition testifies that death during Holy Week of Great Lent, Bright Week, and also the Twelve Feasts can serve as consolation to the dying person and his loved ones. Of course, the Queen of Heaven does not forget us sinners on the days of the celebration of Her icons. Death on the day of one’s saint can also serve as a consolation. The lives of some secret ascetics and prayer books are closely connected with the help of certain saints of God, so that death on the day of these saints gives them hope for intercession during the ordeal.
May the Lord grant us, through the prayers of the Queen of Heaven, the holy saints and our spiritual fathers, such a blessed fate.
Great Sunday is one of the largest and most joyful Orthodox holidays. On this day, people celebrate the resurrection and ascension of Jesus Christ into heaven into the Kingdom of God, the victory of life over death. But death can occur regardless of Orthodox holidays, and even on such days people can die. How is the mourning ceremony carried out if a person dies during Easter week? Should we take death during this period as a sign that the soul of the deceased will go straight to heaven without the Last Judgment?
This day has different meanings for people. Some go to church, read prayers for health and congratulate everyone on the Resurrection of our Savior. But others don’t believe in God at all, so they treat Easter as an interesting holiday, when housewives organize lavish feasts and bake Easter cakes and paint eggs, which the children then break into one another during a fun game.
Usually people come up with various signs and create all kinds of legends. All this would be nice if some superstitions did not prevent people from living normally. So, one of the topics discussed is. What happens to the soul of the deceased?
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Origin |
Description |
| Popular beliefs | According to one legend, if a person dies on a church holiday, then his soul goes straight to heaven. And at the same time, entry into the Kingdom of God occurs without ordeals, that is, without the Last Judgment. But this is just a popular belief. |
| Church clarifications | The priests say that there is no record of this in the Bible. No one will enter the Kingdom of God without judgment. Only those who have repented, corrected themselves and cleansed their soul, filling it with grace, go there. The scriptures say: whatever God finds a person doing, that is what he will judge him on. That is, if the deceased was a drunkard, cursed or committed other sins during his lifetime, he will not go to heaven. And people came up with legends about avoiding the Last Judgment in order to calm their inner state. |
The Bible does not say anything that someone who dies on Easter will necessarily go to heaven.
Of course, for many believers, death does not mean receiving God's mercy. This is not salvation - to die on this day, but confirmation that for a righteous, honest life and repentance a person was worthy to receive high favor. But for those who did not believe in God during life, even after death this day has no meaning.
Funeral ceremony for the deceased on Easter
Death can come any day, regardless of us. And no one is immune from this on Orthodox holidays. But what about the burial and funeral service of the deceased on Holy Sunday or during Bright Week? Do they bury the dead on Easter or not? A few points need to be clarified here. What caused death:
- murder;
- tragic death of a person;
- suicide;
- death due to illness.
The burial and funeral services of suicides are surrounded by a lot of superstitions. Their funerals differ significantly from ordinary rituals. And this has nothing to do with death on Easter. According to church rules, they cannot have a funeral service before burial. And at the same time, suicides can only be buried on the third day after death. But since not everyone has the opportunity to keep the body of the deceased for so many days, it can be buried earlier. Also special attention deserve cases when a person was killed, but his killers staged his death as a suicide. Then the priests perform the funeral service for the deceased, but in case of a mistake, suffering for the sins of the suicide will fall on the relatives and his offspring.
But natural death or the death of a person will not affect the funeral ceremony in any way. Another question is, can this be done on Easter? There is an opinion that it is impossible to bury a dead person on the day of the Great Resurrection and on Bright Week. But both life and death take their course, regardless of Orthodox holidays.
If such a disaster occurs, then you should go to the priest and seek advice. Maybe you need to wait one day and carry out the entire mourning ceremony with a calm soul along with the funeral service after Easter. After all, priests are often busy with festive services on this day. You also need to take into account the fact that many cemeteries are closed on Easter. Therefore, it simply will not be possible to bury the deceased, or many issues will need to be resolved in order to carry out the burial. But after Easter it’s easier to hold the whole ceremony and arrange a memorial meal.
Or on Easter they have a funeral service and burial according to a special Easter rite. These rules were first recorded in the Trebnik of 1624. At the tomb of the deceased on Easter week there may be a longer service, the reading of the Easter prayer service with the omission of the Gospel and the recitation of the 3rd, 6th and 9th songs of the canon of funeral litanies. The singing of “Rest with the Saints” and “Thou art One” should be left as the only difference between the Easter burial. The service of a full memorial service is postponed until Radonitsa - the day of remembrance of the dead. Burial on Bright Week of Easter is performed with thanksgiving and joy, as indicated in the Great Trebnik (sheet 18).
Sometimes omens interfere with people's everyday life. There is no need to postpone the funeral because of superstitions; you need to consult with the priest. The priest will explain when to perform the burial, and will definitely conduct a funeral ceremony on Easter week, but only according to a special Easter rite.
What is good will to die? How to explain the mystery of clinical death? Why do the dead come to the living? Is it possible to give and receive permission to die? We are publishing fragments of a speech at a seminar held in Moscow by Andrei Gnezdilov, a psychotherapist, Doctor of Medical Sciences, honorary doctor of the University of Essex (UK), founder of the first hospice in Russia, inventor of new methods of art therapy and author of numerous books.
Death as a part of life
In everyday life, when we talk with someone we know and he says: “You know, so-and-so died,” the usual reaction to this is the question: how did he die? It is very important how a person dies. Death is important to a person's sense of self. It is not only negative in nature.
If we look at life philosophically, we know that there is no life without death, the concept of life can only be assessed from the perspective of death.
I once had to communicate with artists and sculptors, and I asked them: “You depict various aspects of a person’s life, you can depict love, friendship, beauty, but how would you depict death?” And no one immediately gave a clear answer.
One sculptor who immortalized the siege of Leningrad promised to think about it. And shortly before his death, he answered me like this: “I would depict death in the image of Christ.” I asked: “Is Christ crucified?” - “No, the ascension of Christ.”
One German sculptor depicted a flying angel, the shadow of whose wings was death. When a person fell into this shadow, he fell into the power of death. Another sculptor depicted death in the form of two boys: one boy sits on a stone, with his head on his knees, his whole head directed downwards.
In the hands of the second boy, there is a pipe, his head is thrown back, he is all focused on following the tune. And the explanation of this sculpture was this: it is impossible to depict death without accompanying life, and life without death.
Death is a natural process. Many writers tried to portray life as immortal, but it was a terrible, terrible immortality. What is endless life - endless repetition of earthly experience, cessation of development or endless aging? It is difficult to even imagine the painful state of a person who is immortal.
Death is a reward, a respite; it is abnormal only when it comes suddenly, when a person is still on the rise, full of strength. And older people want to die. Some old women ask: “Now that she’s healed, it’s time to die.” And the patterns of death that we read about in the literature, when death befell the peasants, were normative in nature.
When a villager felt that he could no longer work as before, that he was becoming a burden to his family, he went to the bathhouse, put on clean clothes, lay down under the icon, said goodbye to his neighbors and relatives and died calmly. His death occurred without the pronounced suffering that occurs when a person struggles with death.
The peasants knew that life is not a dandelion flower that grew, blossomed and scattered with the blow of the wind. Life has deep meaning.
This example of the death of peasants dying after giving themselves permission to die is not a peculiarity of those people; we can find similar examples today. Once a cancer patient came to us. A former military man, he carried himself well and joked: “I went through three wars, pulled death’s mustache, and now its time has come to pull me.”
We, of course, supported him, but suddenly one day he could not get out of bed, and he took it completely unambiguously: “That’s it, I’m dying, I can’t get up anymore.” We told him: “Don’t worry, this is a metastasis, people with metastases in the spine live a long time, we will take care of you, you will get used to it.” - “No, no, this is death, I know.”
And, imagine, after a few days he dies, without having any physiological prerequisites for this. He dies because he decided to die. This means that this good will to death or some kind of projection of death occurs in reality.
It is necessary to allow life to end naturally, because death is programmed at the moment of human conception. A person acquires a unique experience of death during childbirth, at the moment of birth. When you deal with this problem, you can see how intelligently life is structured. As a person is born, so he dies, easily born - easily dies, hard to be born - hard to die.
And the day of a person’s death is also not random, just like the day of birth. Statisticians are the first to raise this problem, discovering that people often have the same date of death and date of birth. Or, when we remember some significant anniversaries of the death of our relatives, it suddenly turns out that the grandmother died and a grandson was born. This transmission across generations and the non-randomness of the day of death and the day of birth is striking.
Clinical death or another life?
Not a single sage has yet understood what death is, what happens during death. Such a stage as clinical death was left practically unattended. A person falls into a comatose state, his breathing and heart stop, but unexpectedly for himself and for others, he returns to life and tells amazing stories.
Natalya Petrovna Bekhtereva recently died. At one time, we often argued, I told about cases of clinical death that were in my practice, and she said that this was all nonsense, that changes were just happening in the brain, and so on. And one day I gave her an example, which she then began to use and tell herself.
I worked for 10 years at the Oncological Institute as a psychotherapist, and one day I was called to see a young woman. During the operation, her heart stopped; it could not be started for a long time, and when she woke up, I was asked to see if her psyche had changed due to the long oxygen starvation of the brain.
I came to the intensive care ward, she was just coming to her senses. I asked: “Can you talk to me?”, “Yes, but I would like to apologize to you, I caused you so much trouble,” “What trouble?”, “Well, of course.” My heart stopped, I experienced such stress, and I saw that it was also a lot of stress for the doctors.”
I was surprised: “How could you see this if you were in a state of deep narcotic sleep, and then your heart stopped?” “Doctor, I would tell you much more if you promise not to send me to a psychiatric hospital.”
And she said the following: when she fell into a narcotic sleep, she suddenly felt as if a soft blow to her feet made something inside her turn, like a screw being turned out. She had the feeling that her soul had turned outward and emerged into some foggy space.
Looking closer, she saw a group of doctors bending over the body. She thought: what a familiar face this woman has! And then suddenly I remembered that it was herself. Suddenly a voice rang out: “Stop the operation immediately, the heart has stopped, you need to start it.”
She thought she had died and remembered with horror that she had not said goodbye to either her mother or her five-year-old daughter. Anxiety for them literally pushed her in the back, she flew out of the operating room and in an instant found herself in her apartment.
She saw a rather peaceful scene - a girl playing with dolls, her grandmother, her mother, sewing something. There was a knock on the door and a neighbor, Lidia Stepanovna, came in. She was holding a small polka dot dress in her hands. “Masha,” said the neighbor, “you always tried to be like your mother, so I sewed for you the same dress as your mother.”
The girl happily rushed to her neighbor, on the way she touched the tablecloth, an antique cup fell, and a teaspoon fell under the carpet. There is noise, the girl is crying, the grandmother exclaims: “Masha, how awkward you are,” Lidia Stepanovna says that the dishes are beating fortunately - a common situation.
And the girl’s mother, forgetting about herself, came up to her daughter, stroked her on the head and said: “Masha, this is not the worst grief in life.” Mashenka looked at her mother, but not seeing her, she turned away. And suddenly, this woman realized that when she touched the girl’s head, she did not feel this touch. Then she rushed to the mirror, and did not see herself in the mirror.
In horror, she remembered that she was supposed to be in the hospital, that her heart had stopped. She rushed out of the house and found herself in the operating room. And then I heard a voice: “The heart has started, we are doing an operation, but rather, because there may be a repeated cardiac arrest.”
After listening to this woman, I said: “Don’t you want me to come to your house and tell your family that everything is fine, they can see you?” She happily agreed.
I went to the address given to me, my grandmother opened the door, I told how the operation went, and then asked: “Tell me, did your neighbor Lidiya Stepanovna come to you at half past ten?” Do you know her?”, “Didn’t she bring a dress with polka dots?”, “Are you a wizard, doctor?”
I continue to ask, and everything came together down to the details, except for one thing - the spoon was not found. Then I say: “Did you look under the carpet?” They lift the carpet and there is a spoon there.
This story had a great effect on Bekhtereva. And then she herself experienced a similar incident. On the same day, she lost both her stepson and her husband, both of whom committed suicide. It was terribly stressful for her. And then one day, entering the room, she saw her husband, and he addressed her with some words.
She, an excellent psychiatrist, decided that these were hallucinations, returned to another room and asked her relative to see what was in that room. She came up, looked in and recoiled: “Yes, your husband is there!” Then she did what her husband asked, making sure that such cases were not fiction.
She told me: “No one knows the brain better than me (Bekhtereva was the director of the Institute of the Human Brain in St. Petersburg). And I have the feeling that I am standing in front of some huge wall, behind which I hear voices, and I know that there is a wonderful and huge world out there, but I cannot convey to others what I see and hear. Because for this to be scientifically valid, everyone must repeat my experience.”
Once I was sitting next to a dying patient. I put a music box that was playing a touching melody, then asked: “Turn it off, is it bothering you?” “No, let it play.” Suddenly her breathing stopped, her relatives rushed: “Do something, she’s not breathing.”
I rashly gave her an injection of adrenaline, and she came to her senses again, turned to me: “Andrei Vladimirovich, what was that?” - “You know, it was clinical death.” She smiled and said: “No, life!”
What is this state that the brain goes into during clinical death? After all, death is death. We register death when we see that breathing has stopped, the heart has stopped, the brain does not work, it cannot perceive information and, moreover, send it out.
Does this mean that the brain is only a transmitter, but there is something deeper, more powerful in a person? And here we are faced with the concept of the soul. After all, this concept has almost been supplanted by the concept of the psyche. There is a psyche, but there is no soul.
How would you like to die?
We asked both the healthy and the sick: “How would you like to die?” And people with certain characterological qualities built a model of death in their own way.
People with a schizoid character type, such as Don Quixote, characterized their desire rather strangely: “We would like to die so that no one around us would see my body.”
Epileptoids considered it unthinkable for themselves to lie quietly and wait for death to come; they had to be able to somehow participate in this process.
Cycloids - people like Sancho Panza, would like to die surrounded by their loved ones. Psychosthenics are anxious and suspicious people; they worried about what they would look like when they died. Hysteroids wanted to die at sunrise or sunset, on the seashore, in the mountains.
I compared these desires, but I remembered the words of one monk who said this: “I don’t care what will surround me, what the situation will be around me. It’s important to me that I die while praying, thanking God for giving me life and seeing the power and beauty of His creation.”
Heraclitus of Ephesus said: “A man lights a light for himself on the night of death; and he is not dead, having extinguished his eyes, but is alive; but he comes into contact with the dead - while dozing, while awake - he comes into contact with the dormant,” a phrase that you can puzzle over almost your whole life.
Being in contact with the patient, I could agree with him that when he died, he would try to let me know whether there was something behind the coffin or not. And I received this answer more than once.
I once made an agreement with one woman, she died, and I soon forgot about our agreement. And then one day, when I was at the dacha, I suddenly woke up when the light came on in the room. I thought that I forgot to turn off the light, but then I saw that the same woman was sitting on the bed opposite me. I was happy, started talking to her, and suddenly I remembered - she died!
I thought I was dreaming all this, so I turned away and tried to go to sleep so I could wake up. Some time passed, I raised my head. The light was on again, I looked back in horror - she was still sitting on the bed and looking at me. I want to say something, but I can’t - it’s terrible. I realized that there was a dead man in front of me. And suddenly she smiled sadly and said: “But this is not a dream.”
Why do I give such examples? Because the uncertainty of what awaits us forces us to return to the old principle: “Do no harm.” That is, “don’t rush death” is the most powerful argument against euthanasia. To what extent do we have the right to intervene in the condition that the patient is experiencing? How can we hasten his death when he may be experiencing his greatest life at this moment?
Quality of life and permission to die
What matters is not the number of days we live, but the quality. What does quality of life give? Quality of life gives you the opportunity to be pain-free, the ability to control your consciousness, the opportunity to be surrounded by relatives and family.
Why is communication with relatives so important? Because children often repeat the plot of the lives of their parents or relatives. Sometimes it's in the details that are amazing. And this repetition of life is often a repetition of death.
The blessing of relatives, the parental blessing of a dying person to children is very important, it can even save them later, protect them from something. Again, returning to the cultural heritage of fairy tales.
Remember the plot: an old father dies, he has three sons. He asks: “After my death, go to my grave for three days.” The older brothers either don’t want to go or are afraid, only the younger one, a fool, goes to the grave, and at the end of the third day the father reveals some secret to him.
When a person passes away, he sometimes thinks: “Well, let me die, let me get sick, but let my family be healthy, let the illness end on me, I’ll pay the bills for the whole family.” And so, having set a goal, no matter rationally or affectively, a person receives a meaningful departure from life.
Hospice is a home that offers quality life. Not an easy death, but a quality life. This is a place where a person can end his life meaningfully and deeply, accompanied by relatives.
When a person leaves, the air does not just come out of him, like from a rubber ball, he needs to take a leap, he needs strength in order to step into the unknown. A person must allow himself to take this step. And he receives the first permission from relatives, then from medical personnel, from volunteers, from a priest and from himself. And this permission to die from oneself is the most difficult thing.
You know that Christ, before suffering and praying in the Garden of Gethsemane, asked his disciples: “Stay with me, do not sleep.” Three times the disciples promised Him to stay awake, but fell asleep without providing support. So, in a spiritual sense, a hospice is a place where a person can ask: “Stay with me.”
And if such a greatest personality - God Incarnate - needed human help, if He said: “I no longer call you slaves. I called you friends,” addressing people, then following this example and saturating the last days of the patient with spiritual content is very important.
Andrey Gnezdilov
Prepared the text; photo: Maria Stroganova
